Yeesh

Dec. 26th, 2008 10:47 pm
shesanowheregirl: (Default)
It's been a long time since I've posted anything. Yesterday was my birthday, so that was awesome. My boyfriend got me a vintage smoky quartz necklace for my birthday and a textbook on animation for Christmas.

I've tried to relax as much as possible and keep this break between semesters as low-key as possible, since I'll be going to Paris on the 11th of January and staying for the entire semester. I have really mixed feelings about going abroad. On one hand, it's a great chance to be independent and learn French. On the other hand, I feel I'm putting my life on hold for four months, and I've never been great at keeping up long distance relationships. I'm worried about losing touch with my closest friends ever and my boyfriend (who is the best man ever). I hate this feeling of waffling between anxiety and excitement.

Also, I decided to switch majors. I was Political Science and French, but I really didn't fit in with the poli. sci. crowd. I felt out of place in my classes among these deeply-entrenched-partisan-future-politicians
who surround me. I found that I hold no great opinion partisan-wise. Instead of evaluating the poltics, I found myself analyzing the arguments made in our required readings. So, when I get back from France, I'm going to declare English, because language/literature is awesome. I never would have thought I would have gone this way, but I feel much more at peace than I did previously. I could never imagine myself in the field of politics clearly, but I could see myself writing, or being involved in publishing, or even teaching. I wish sometimes that things were as easy as they were in grade school. I knew my life's progression: go to middle school, go to high school, go to college, get a job. I never thought that it would be so difficult to figure all of this life stuff out when I got to college.

Anyway, Happy Holidays f-list. Hope yours isn't filled with as much inner turmoil.
shesanowheregirl: (jareth is sad)
Six weeks left of classes. I don't know if I can take anymore, actually. I have at least 7 more papers before the year is over, 3 oral presentations, and a whole bunch of other tests and quizzes and crap like that. U

Unfortunately, I have been struck with massive amounts of inspiration. Normally, this is a good thing. But when I spend many hours coloring [livejournal.com profile] torreadora's awesome lineart instead of studying/writing, I run into problems. I also have this whole universe in my head waiting to spring free in the form of a massive multi-part epic, I know I don't have the time/patience/writing skills/energy to hammer it out. I think I need to start smaller by writing vignettes or something in this universe and then expand.

Here's the piece I colored:
http://shesanowheregirl.deviantart.com/art/Masquerade-by-lily-fox-80949690
shesanowheregirl: (toph is blind)
Texas, why do you curse me with crazy weather? It seems that the pattern is warm days followed by freezing rain and gale-force winds. I approve of neither and neither do my ears.

On the note of my ears, since mid-October, I have been suffering from ear pain. First it was my left ear, but now both are freaking out. It started with an ear infection, but it has fallen into this cycle of infection followed by fluid build-up, which causes another infection. I've had so many drugs and antibiotics pumped into my system that they can't be working anymore. Also, my doctor has me on 800 mg of ibuprofen 3 times a day, which is 4 pills every 4-6 hours, plus antibiotics and Claratin in the mornings, and ear drops twice a day. I'm like a walking pharmacy. I just want this infection/pain/fluid build-up to go away!
shesanowheregirl: (Default)
As a spiritual person, it is eternally frustrating to see the holier-than-thou, bickering nature of religion. I was clicking around Facebook today and ran into "Christian" groups that boast they can gather the largest number of fellow Christians, encourage religious debate, and glorify God.

Now, I'm not as schooled in Christian doctrine as others, but I has a Bible stories book as a child and I enjoy the Song of Soloman. Also, I've picked up a lot of gnostic and apocrypha mythology that would put some of the most devout Christians to shame. However, I do know that Christ taught kindness, humility, peace, justice, and all that other "love thy neighbor" stuff. But when I see these groups of hundreds of thousands of zealots, I want to laugh and cry from the hypocrisy of it all. Though some encourage debate, most of the "debate" is actually inner-faith bickering, name-calling, condemning those who are different, and altogether acting un-Christian. Yes, I know all us lowly humans aren't perfect, but if I were Christian, I would not want to associate myself with this insanity. They say they are glorifying God, but they are really just dragging His name through the proverbial mud by engaging in such behaviors.

Also, The Golden Compass is not evil. It's not about killing God. Dear Lord, it's a metaphor for the oppressiveness of religion, not the oppressiveness of faith. Faith and religion are not the same things. Merriam-Webster says faith is "something that is believed especially with strong conviction," while religion is "the service and worship of God or the supernatural." The Golden Compass has issues with the construction of religion, especially with Catholicism, which the author views as less of a door to God and more of a political and social entity.

Another un-Christian behavior that frustrates me is the zealot, holier-than-thou attitude. Just because I don't believe in the divinity of Christ and I view the Bible in a historical and literary context does not mean I am a Satanist, atheist, agnostic, pagan or heathen. I don't offer ritual sacrifices of virgins to Lucifer, and I don't plan on starting anytime soon. I actually enjoy the Christian mythos, with Angelology and Demonology being personal favorites of mine, and Edenic symbolism in other works makes me giddy. I enjoy C.S. Lewis immensely. I also feel really awful killing things, which makes me wonder how a person go to church on Sunday and then go kill some deer. Which brings me to the point that I have a real problem with "devout" Christians telling other people they will go to Hell. Did or did not Christ say something about being nice to people you don't agree with or enemies or someone like that?

Finally, I wanted to end elegantly, but whatever. I may be a deist, but I do recognize good things that have come out of Christianity. Believe it or not, I don't have a problem with Christ or his teachings. I mean, he's not exactly my 'homeboy,' but he said a lot of good things. Also, Christians have the best buildings. Churches are cool, especially Gothic cathedrals.

Ok, rant over.

FINALLY

Nov. 16th, 2007 10:59 am
shesanowheregirl: (Default)
Thanksgiving break has finally come, thank God. I have one more class today and then a week of homework and my crazy family gatherings.

Over this "time off" I will need to do the following:
1. Write my 3-page paper for Rhetoric
2. Begin writing my 12-page paper for Poli Sci
3. Read French Lieutenant's Woman
4. Read several chapters I've fallen behind on for Poli Sci
5. Avoid/mitigate familial lunacy
6. Do fun things and not completely lock myself up in my dungeon working of stuff I should have worked on this week
7. Figure out when my finals are
8. Pay my fine to the City of Denton because Sgt. Douchebag saw that my inspection was out of date and waited until I moved to pull me over and cite me
9. SLEEP
10. Not go crazy

LIBRARY

Oct. 8th, 2007 03:33 pm
shesanowheregirl: (Default)
After 7 weeks at school, I finally went to the library. It is the most confusing place EVER.

I was looking through the science section for books on Krakatoa, which have call numbers beginning with QE. So, I ventured to the science section and the shelves go from QD to QH, and I can't find QE. So after trying desperately to find QE by circling the shelves, I saw a box on the bottom shelf that says "QE shelved upstairs." Then I wandered around looking for stairs, found the stairs, and then wandered around some more on the second floor until I found QE. I got my books, and then realized that the third book I needed was in QH, so I repeated the getting lost process and found my third book. The library wants me to get lost. It is such a maaaaaaze.

I've also been having a lot of problems coming up with my topic for my Poli. Sci. 12 page research paper. It has to been on a country and a political theory, but I couldn't figure out which country I wanted to do. I meant o do a lot of research this weekend, but I went home and I couldn't access the school's article databases. Instead, I watched more Avatar and Mulan, which are both China-y, and therefore could be justified. But in my excursion to the library, I finally read some stuff on China, and now I've finally got a general direction and a few ideas, but I'm still unsure. Meh.

My friend let me borrow The Jekyll and Hyde Original Broadway Recording, and I've listened to 3 songs, and I loooooove it.

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